Thursday, September 09, 2004

Unseen Pain

My heart hurts. I've no idea why but it does. I don't think it's a physical pain; it's more like the dull ache of someone who just broke up with someone... but my life, with the exception of my teeth, is going pretty good. So, why am I aching?

It's not just the ache. I'm doing really dumb things cause I'm hurting. Like turning off the AIM... like not eating... like wanting to bang my head against the wall. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for me feeling like this. My lover, perhaps not as attentive as I want her to be (but then whoever is?), is wonderfully silly with moments of pure brilliance and a perspective that just takes my breath away when I stop to ponder the enormity of her heart and the generosity of her action. My job is fantastic - they have the perfect attitude for someone like me: they don't care what or when I do stuff, just get it done and done well. My family... well, 'nuff said.

Hmm could it be that nefarious unit that threatens to smear my chest with ache? Probably, but doubtful. I ache when I think of me, or my S.O., not my mom or sis. Just hope this isn't a premonition. (I can just hear her now... 'You'd *like* it to be a premonition wouldn't you? Gives you something to worry about.')

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias.


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