Monday, February 28, 2005

Evolving with the Mac

Okay, so I'm writing in green as a sort of good bye to my faithful green iMac, who have served me faithfully all these years. I bought it waaaaaaay back in 1996, right when I started my own business and honestly, I think I've shut it off maybe 20 times since then.

I bought my lil 333 mhz iMac about 6 months before the release of OS X, at least that's what I remember. I remember it was only loaded with OS 9.0 and it was months before I got system 9.1. I've always been a tad afraid of OS X, what with it's metallic look, it's trasition from a number to a roman numeral, with its ferocious names like Panther, Tiger, or whatnot.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't quite expecting what I found.

First off, with OS X, the Mac reminds the user with almost every click of the mouse, that it is first and foremost, a graphics machine. When I minimized a window, I almost gasped out loud as my pretty lil iBook melted the window into the task bar below. Shades of Dali!

Then I looked around for the screen saver. As any good stoner will tell you, the screen saver is one of the best bits about the computer. There's been times where just to stop my brain from talking to me, I will turn on a screen saver and totally zone out. It's a much needed exercise for those of you (like me) doesn't have an off switch to internal voices.

The screen saver in itself is a thing to behold. You can load it up with pictures, and the internal camera will zoom in and out, making it into a little movie. The random stuff that appears and moves around... well, all of them have this neat look to them that just doesn't scream computer.

I'm not sure what I feel about the commands to the system being under the Apple menu but I think it's just habit that's making me unsure. I remember thinking when I first got a computer, why is the damn shut down in the middle of the screen? Shouldn't it be out of the way a bit? And now that it is, habit makes me unsure whether I like it. *rolls eyes at herself*

More later when I can wean myself away from WoW. OH!!! The start up and shut down time of the iBook is HALF that of the Gateway using XP. Half! Oh, and the WoW version loads much faster than the pc version. (like half the time).

Another plus for my iBook? It's half the weight of the Gateway with just as much power.

Filed under Cool Shit.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

I'm working on my ibook right now. This is way too cool. However, cheap lil me bought the previous generation ibook, so it's not loaded with the most recent OS, so I'm downloading it right now.



Couple of corrections: my lover read about the happiest day of my life being my new ibook, and fight night round 2 and laughed out loud. She said, "Shouldn't it be the new ibook, that you have a gf who buys all this stuff for you, and THEN fight night?" She was willing to place herself behind the ibook!!!!! I tell you, she's one in a million.



2nd correction is: There are two copies of WoW available at the bigger Target in San Lorenzo. Go now! Hurry, before the crowds come tomorrow.



Okay, it's almost done updating now. I should go restart the new ibook and load the game. Don't expect to hear from me for a couple of days, unless I can't help myself.



Filed under Cool Shit; Bloodsport, err Relatives; Bwahahahaha and Gaming-Obsess Much?

It's here, It's here!!!!!

*dances around with glee and drools disgustingly*

My pretty little ibook is here!!!! Finally, I get to play WoW with my girl, and with some of my online pals that I met through a MUD called Threshold. It's basically one of the few MMORPGs out there that support both Macs and PCs and it's kicking butt out there. Try going to find a copy of it here in Northern California. When we bought our copy, it took us four stores before we could get it and then it was only at a new computer/gaming store that was tucked away in a corner of a strip mall.

First, I gotta read up about OS X tho. Yeah, I'm *that* far behind the times. *sighs* My family thinks I've been whittling away my funds on electronics and stuff for the past 10 years. However it's been 6 years since I bought a new computer and I have been going through withdrawal hell. I'm used to upgrading my computer every 3-4 years, like a good little mac-head.

*dances some more and twirls her girl around*

"happy happy joy joy! happy happy joy joy!"

I *CANNOT* believe the friggin screen saver on my little ol ibook IS A MOVIE!

*pppppbbbbttttt!* to pc users.

It's the little things in life... Yes, it's really rare to see grumpy, curmudgeonly me doing the happy dance. But here it is.. this is going down as one of the happiest in my life. I got a new ibook AND fight night round two is coming out on Tuesday. I've already ordered my copy, have you?

Look for me next week and you're going to find a bleary-eyed zombie... I can't wait!

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias and Cool Shit.

I am Gay, but NOT a Hooker

Okay, Tom Tomorrow addresses this in this blog entry and it's one of the things since this whole Gannon/Guckert thing began that has REALLY irked me.

How does pointing out that a gay hooker in the White House doesn't belong there mean we're against gay rights?

In order to jump to this conclusion, there must be the end result of all gays are hookers and therefore to be anti-gay hookers is to be anti-gay.

For the record, I have never paid for sex... well at least in money. I've paid for it in blood and sweat and tears, that's for sure. AND, I've never made anyone pay to have sex with me. AND I'M ANTI-HYPOCRISY. For the record too, I see NOTHING wrong with paying for sex or getting paid for sex. I actually wanted to try a hooker in Amsterdam but never got drunk enough to really go through with it.

However, I do want to congratulate you conservatives on making this BIG leap towards progressiveness. I mean, geeze, here you are, wanting to make changes in our constitution to ensure that we gays NEVER get the right to visit our loved ones if they're dying in the hospital, that we cannot pass on property to the person we shared our lives with, that my assets go towards relatives who tolerated me instead of the one who gave her all for me.

But Congratulations... you're saying it's okay for us to get paid for sex. By the way, do you know who pays us for sex? It's the straight married ones who have to pay for it... cause they're the ones who have to sneak. So make it legit. Let us service yours, that you can't service yourself. You friggin hypocrites.

Filed under Politics & B.S. and Scary Gay Stuff.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Nausicaa of the Wind

Huge huge fan of Hayao Miyazaki here and the movie I have been waiting since 1986 is finally finally out on DVD here.

Sure, there was a version put out in the late 80's but it had 20 minutes of animation cut out. If you look at that version, and the original version, you will find that all the subtlety to the characters, the the surroundings, to plot development were edited out. *sighs* No wonder Americans are not known for subtlety.

This is one of Mr. Miyazaki's earlier works but probably one with the longest reach. Tho you can still buy Totoro stuffed animals, Nausicaa has continued in manga form. That has been translated into English, I believe.

For those of you mommies with little girls, run and get this movie. The heroine is plucky, brave, and strong. I had a bad crush on her when I first saw the movie, well, actually I wanted to be her. (why is it all my heroes/heroines have mostly been fictional? I guess few real persons has been able to have the dedication to their ideals that I require for them to stand on a pedestal for me.)

Anyway, go rent this movie. And after your jaw drops and you wonder why Disney can't do this kind of work, go buy it.

Filed under Reviews.

Equal Opportunity

Recently, I've been trying to put out the word to people that if they have a blog, and are writing politically, they should try and get a daily pass to the White House briefings.

*smacks herself on the head*

Boy, was that a dumb idea. What I should've been suggesting is that FEMALE escorts with websites, write a few articles, then try to get into the White House Briefings.

If you are turned away, then SUE for discrimination. After all, why should gay males have all the publicity. If there are lesbian escorts out there... well, where the hell were you when I was young and single and wouldn't mind at all paying for a good looking dyke to hang out with me.

Filed under Politics & B.S. and Scary Gay Stuff.

Got another I Love It!!!!!

I love it when you buy a new product.... like say, the BIC Atlantis mechanical pencil and really enjoy using it. And you use it until the eraser runs out so you start looking for a replacement. After scouring the office supplies catalog for 15 minutes, squinting at the tiny print in there, you come to the conclusion, oh BIC doesn't make its own refills.

So you spend another 15 minutes scouring for something that'll let you know the size of the erasers since the erasers in the office was bought for another product and it doesn't fit. Then you try the office supply store and after 5 mins., they realize there is nothing in their product descriptions or anything that would give you any help. So you ask for the BIC helpline.

Now, suppose all this happened to you. You'd have thought that BIC could be helpful in the least couldn't you. After all, you're calling them to say, Hey, I've gone through so many pencils and I'm finally settling on this pencil for my pencil of choice! I want to continue to use it so please tell me how to get replacement erasers for my pencil.

However, in today's society, where the richer get richer and the poor say, "please, take my money with my pleasure, just make sure those nasty terrorists don't come after me"; where apparently people know Bush lied about the WMD, but it's okay cause look, we've got an East America now and access to oil that we know we're going to need cause we are all so in love with our hugeass road-hogging SUVs... In THIS society, it's perfectly okay to come out with a new product line with little support.

Microsoft, I blame you!

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias and Reviews

Monday, February 21, 2005

Female Bloggers

So a woman pundit poses a question to the L.A. Times opinion editor and sparks off debate in the blogosphere as to why there are so few women bloggers.

Well, Kevin Drum of Washington Monthly speaks his opinion here, and I've seen others write about it too.

Okay, first of all, I'm going to talk about the comics retailer syndrome - which is, whenever you ask a comic book retailer how many kids go to his store, he will say a small percentage. But if you do the actual math, you will find that the actual number of kids who go into that store is higher. But why is his perception skewed? Cause human nature says you recognize those of the same stature or higher, not lower. Unless the kid gives the retailer a reason to remember him/her, chances are the retailer will dismiss him/her.

(Don't believe that's human nature? Quick, how many waiters were in that nice restaurant you went to for Valentines? Okay, now how many waitresses?)

Thus, Feminist blogs tends to have blogrolls of women or men who write about those issues and political blogs - (because politics is a male-dominated field) - tends to act towards women bloggers in a myopic fashion.

The second reason for the lack of women bloggers in a punditry fashion is... (I think I'm going to get slammed for this) the way we write and talk.

I once heard a joke that went something like this. "Ask a man where the sugar is and you'll get, it's under the sink. Ask a woman where the sugar is and you'll get "Well, I went to the grocery store, found it on sale so I bought a whole bunch, and then came home to find no room! So I put most of it under the sink, and the rest I filled up in the container over there."

Some people have likened this to Men are from Mars.... etc. I just think that men give the answers and women give the circumstances so you understand the reasoning behind the answers.

It is two different ways of communicating and this is not to say that one cannot be trained in the other way of communicating nor is it solely isolated to one gender and not the other.

In terms of political commentary, I think readers prefer a more theorem-proof way of writing. By this, I mean break out the dusty geometry books from high school and look up proofs. Political commentary is set up like that. Pose a theory, use formulas and logic to present your arguments 1, 2, & 3, restate your theory and show that it's proven.

I look back at my own ramblings here and tho I can be snarky, sarcastic and opinionated, I do tend to run all over the place. I feel no need to organize my thoughts. So don't expect to see me on any blogrolls anytime soon lol

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Noticed this article in E & P about Scott McClellan and looks like no one's posted about it yet.

Notice this part: "He faxed a letter in on his [GOPUSA] letterhead, they checked that it was a Web site he worked for," McClellan explained, referring to his staffers who handled such credentialing at the time. "There was a check to make sure it was a news organization and a news Web site. There was a determination made at that point [that it was legitimate]."

And then notice this part: He said he currently has a staff of 12, only one of whom handles the 20 to 25 daily press passes issued each day.

Only 20-25? I think it's due to this volume that they see no reason to change. I still think that it should be suggested that every fan-boy and fan-girl of GWB be putting up a website and inundating them with requests to present a favorable view of the POTUS.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Rumsfeld's Responses - good enough for Congress & Public...

So I wonder if it's good enough for the IRS.

Let's see:

  • "I can't pay what I owe the IRS cause you get taxes from the citizenry you have, not the citizenry you might want or you wish to have in the future."
  • "How much do you owe?" "I am not going to give you an answer."
  • "Do you care to make a comment about why you're not paying the full amount?" "I don't"
  • "What about this report that shows you got paid $10 from a lotto ticket?" "I am not familiar with the ticket you're referring to."
  • "How long will your unemployment last?" "There's never been an unemployment that was predictable as to length, casualty or cost in the history of mankind."
  • Here's the doozy "Well, it looks as if you are trying to claim some long-term expenses crammed into this year's return, how do you explain that?" "Well, the matter is really BEYOND my pay grade." Okay, Rumsfeld is the friggin' SEC'Y OF DEFENSE! How much higher beyond his pay grade can you get? OH! Did he mean that it was a matter for Schwartznegger since Ah-nuld make millions a year as opposed to half a million?
  • "Can you give us an estimate as to how many companies you worked for this past year? " "I am not going to give you a number for it because it isn't my job to do intelligent work." Swear to Heck, Rummy said this.
Hey, if these responses are good enough for my government, I see no reason why they can't work for me.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Ironic observation.

This is from a Newsweek article
Nine hundred and nine women in Texas recently told researchers they find taking care of their kids about as much fun as cleaning their house, slightly less pleasurable than cooking, and a whole lot less enjoyable than watching TV.
Presumably some of these people also think that abortion is murder. So instead, we have households full of children, who are being brought up by parents who think of them as chores.

Don't be surprised if these children end up drowning theirs in a lake somewhere.

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias.

It's time to play...

Guess what caused our terror alert to go up?

Is it....

  • terrorists are gathering forces at our borders?
  • that there's been evidence of WMD's finally sighted within Iraq's borders?
Or is it...

  • that people are starting to pay too much attention to the shenanigans of the White House and their relationships with the press....
  • with Halliburton....
  • with outing CIA operatives...
  • fuzzy math about social security?
Quick, sound the alert, they're getting too nosy. Whew, that did it. Now the press will go on for days if the terror alert was legit... and we can get back to saying that Personal Accounts aren't private, they're to ensure that you personally give $ to Corporations.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

It's so great to be an American

Man, where else in the world can you, for $17.50, throw up a website proclaiming "news", then for $50 and ONLY 2 days of your life, get credentials as a journalist and ... and... here's the icing dude, get to ask the President questions!

I feel like someone should do a Ginsu Knife endorsement too. And for no extra charge, we'll throw in this extra daily press pass, free!

I wonder how large that press room in the White House is. And I wonder how many people have figured out that if Gannon/Guckert could do it, so could they. I mean, what a wonderful image for the world to see... just like those ink-stained fingers. A press room full of new journalists eager to pose their question to the President's own Press Secretary. AND if you tivo it, (which I'm sure Gannon/Guckert does) perhaps see yourself on c-span or something like that. I mean, you don't even have to buy your own video camera. The TV stations will provide that for you.

God, is America wonderful or what?

BTW good news for all you wannabe Gannon/Guckerts. The White House and Correspondents had an emergency meeting yesterday to discuss whether or not tighter security should apply to them and guess what? They decided no changes needed to be made. So all of you wannabe's. Go get your credentials, go buy a website name, hire someone (after all, you should do your bit to keep the economy going) to make your website and if you REALLY want to hit the big time, have this guy throw up a porn site for you as well. It's only a few hundred dollars more but the publicity, you just can't buy. Then, rush over and put your REAL name in with the White House. But feel free to publish your articles under such monikers as "Bulldog" or something like that. Make sure it's a real manly name too like Gannon. or J.D. That way, they won't look too closely.

Such a great country.

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias and Politics & B.S.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Solitude and Plans with myself

Because most people see me as a social animal, they don't get that under that exterior, resides a person who is RESENTFUL of people's intrusions into solitude.

When people see me, it is because I have put on the skin of a social animal. Yes, the skin fits nicely, can be snug in some places but yes, it is awfully comfortable. But it IS a skin. And because it's a skin, I REALLY look forward to when I can be alone.

But resignedidealist, you say, you're living with your lover. When are you ever alone? The answer to that question is, of course, when she goes away. Solitude, to people like us, is a commodity. It is ultra precious, when we are in a relationship because the very nature of a relationship means less solitude.

Why is this coming up now? Cause my girl is going away this weekend, and my best friend wants to visit. ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Talk about being caught in the middle. First of all, my best friend is the antithesis of a solitary person. He wants company to go to the 7-11. (BTW, my girl is the same way... now you see why solitude is so friggin' precious to me?) Therefore, because he is like this, he has absolutely no comprehension of my giddiness over being alone. To him, his husband going away would be a week of boredom, a week of listlessness, a week of stir-craziness.

To me, a week without my lover means, Hawaiian Barbeque, or Ducks in the Window food, or anything else I like to eat that she doesn't. (FYI, her trips home indicate the same thing for her: she loads up on mushrooms and other ugh food). To me, it means a week of making sure there's always pepsi's in the fridge, and cigarettes by the bed cause she's not here to remind me. So, by the time I get to my computer, or game or movie, I KNOW that there's nothing else to remember for the night and that I can really, actually relax and drive all thoughts of reality out of my brain. (I do have this to say tho, my girl tries to help me out in this whenever she can - it's just when your lover says she's hungry, it's harder to ignore than your own tummy. At least that's always been the case for me)

I think solitude holds so much value to me because I am somebody who is more in tune with other people's unhappiness than my own. And because of this, I am very aware of my efforts to ease other people's ways. And since I don't ease my own way, it's only during the solitude days that I get to do everything just for me.

Honestly, I think that's very much how I fell into being a hermit for about 4 years. I discovered the joys of not having to cater to anyone else. And the relief of that gave me the impetus not to get in touch with anyone for that long.

Filed under Bloodsport, err Relatives and Reveries & Paranoias.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Thank you Chris Bowers

I really should update the links on the side. I read so many blogs now but I haven't added to my list at all and some of those I've listed, I'm not reading as frequently anymore.

There's an article in MyDD.com by Chris Bowers that I heartily and fully agree with. America is changing... and what it's changing into is NOT a pretty sight.

The problem with the changes that are happening isn't that it's the government forcing them on us. It's us. It's us taking their changes, grinning about it and yelling "Thank you Sir, May I have another?"

There's a part of me that wants to run. It's like watching people self-destruct. You want to help, you really want to, but until they want your help, anything you offer will be tossed aside. America is self-destructing and it's doing it with the help and complicity of the American people. I've been here before, trying to help alcoholics and crystal meth users. I just end up feeling frustrated, helpless and angry. And that's what's happening to me now about my feelings here.

I've already discussed this with my other. We're starting to look at other countries as possibilities. When someone is hell-bent on self-destructing, all you can do is move yourself out of the way and hope none of the carnage falls on you.

I worry for my nephews and nieces, since they will be growing up here, listening to all the white noise and not being able to distinguish what is for the common good and what is beneficial towards one specific group of people.

Remember that old thing about the nazis... that old poem about when they came for this one, I figured it's none of my business.... and then they came for me.

Just remember this, Americans. Think of this formula.

  • White House is making things easier for corporations to thrive.
  • Mergers are occurring weekly which is a result corporate evolution - the strongest, most adaptable wins.
  • Corporations are bound to no ONE COUNTRY.
  • America owes money to China and Egypt. A LOT OF MONEY.
  • When China and Egypt comes to collect and there is NOTHING in our accounts cause we gave it freely to corporations (either through schemes like personal/private accounts or through corporate welfare or through consumerism), think the corporations are going to say, "sure, U.S. of A. You've been so good and kind to us over the years, here's a few trillion dollars to get you out of debt." Nope, they're going to go to another sucker country and try the same. It's called rotating crops folks. You use one field up, go to another, and dry up that. When that one is dried up, you can go back to the first field.
  • Meanwhile our government makes us feel better about ourselves by pointing out, we're so much better than those guys over there, why don't we go over their, kick their asses so we can show them a better way of life?" (WHICH is directly against Jesus' teachings)
  • Therefore: the American public is getting screwed, is being set up to get screwed and at the same time asking to get screwed.


Filed under Politics & B.S. and Reveries & Paranoias.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

ENOUGH with the Snark!!!!

Damnit you all.... enough with the snark!

All day, I've been reading about the Gannon/Guckert shit... and here's what I hear from the blogosphere. "We did it!" "Let's give them some of their own medicine!" "Let's hear it for the Blogosphere!" It's so much that me, ONE OF YOU is getting ready to tune out.

Look, this wasn't about Gannon. This wasn't about whether he has a gay site on the side. Yes, I'm sickened by his hypocrisy as well, BUT KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL FOLKS.

This is about US! This is about propaganda! This is about Lies. This is about the american public getting bamboozled yet again, not by Gannon, WHO IS SMALL FRY! This is about Scott McClellan running to Gannon OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHICH EITHER MEANS Scott knows a good thing when he sees one OR THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION WAS IN ON IT.

ALSO, Dan Froomkin of the WaPo HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET SOMEONE TO WORK ON THIS FOR A YEAR NOW! He's asked SEVERAL times who the hell this Jeff Gannon was who is getting these softball question. YET NOW, you're getting to it. So pat yourself on the backs folks, and just think, if this story had broken when Dan Froomkin first wrote about it, MAYBE WE WOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT IRAN AS POSSIBLE ARTILLERY FODDER RIGHT NOW!.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Stoner Games

Okay, I admit it, I'm a huge stoner. And I love video/computer games. And there are some games out there that are more condusive towards a.... shall we say, an altered perspective?

Googling about, I see lots of lists of stoner games. But most of them tend to be about visuals. For me, a good stoner game fits the following criteria:

  • The game has to have a sense of surrealism;
  • Though most likely repetitive, it doesn't HAVE to be - it just has to maintain that state of blissful indifferent enjoyment (In other words, your blood pressure must remain the same or drop) (In other other words, maintain the mellow, man);
  • Bonus if the game can illicit giggles;
  • Cannot make you sweat or hyperventilate;
In my life, I've found a few games that fit this criteria. Space Invaders fit a few of the criteria but it gets mind-numbing after half an hour or so. Pong, same thing. Pac-man and his missus? Nope, BP can elevate with that game.

The first game that I found that truly fit this was Tetris. I'm talking the ORIGINAL Tetris, the one that came from Russia, the one that was on my Mac, in glorious B/W with the weird Russian music in the background. The one I always wish I was playing whenever I play with these newfangled colored ones that you can compete with another on. Ugh. Gimme that wonderful grayscale game any time.

The second game I found that was like this was the little tiny shareware or freeware game for the Mac called Scarab of Ra. My pal Mark still has that on his mac though he has to switch back to OS 9.1 to play it. The thing that made it great was that it randomly generated a map every time you played. Freshness with familiarity, an important factor for Stoner Games.

Anyway, here's my list:

  • Civilization (all three versions on the fairly easy levels - to maintain the mellow, man) Mac/PC: The harder levels are much too challenging; however, the lower levels are great for getting that "I'm taking over the world, Pinky" feeling yet not exerting too much mental prowess. The building of roads, laying down irrigation fields, building railroads and mining hills can qualify as the repetitive part. (BTW, my love and I have figured out a great way to play Civ together... I do the boring repetitive parts, and she does the warring, taking over the world part. And yeah, I'm the major stoner in the family, not her;
  • ToeJam and Earl, Sega Genesis: Up to about 6 months ago, I'd say this was arguably the BEST stoner game ever made. You NEVER lose your mellow on that even when being chased by milktrucks... okay, the crazy dentist WILL make your BP higher but it's such a short burst that it feels more like a rush than a debilitating surge.
  • Pogo games, Internet: All the great addictive little games, like solitaire, slots, bingo, colors, balloons are featured here with a GREAT twist. The whole object behind the programming of these games was to make them fairly easy to win. One of the programmers is the brother-in-law of a great friend of mine and has told me so.
  • Last but not least, Katamari Damacy, PS2: To explain this game is foolhardy. Many have attempted, all have fallen short. The closest is probably this review. My problem is, I'm currently saving my thumbs for Fight Night Round 2. Which actually deserves an honorable mention here under Stoner Games.
  • Honorable Mention - Fight Night 2004/Round 2 Xbox, PS2, GC: While playing Fight Night is not a good stoner activity, watching Fight Night can be. Ever wonder how Muhammed Ali would do against Roberto "Hands of Stone" Duran? Or an Evander Holyfield against Sugar Ray Leonard? My other is bracing herself. When March 1st hits (the day Fight Night Round 2 comes out), she's expecting to hear punching in her sleep, either with me as a player or me as a boxing connoiseur. She's going to be getting it too.


Filed under Reviews and Gaming-Obsess Much?.

I Love Its Part 2....

Ever hear of a little machine called the E707 series Postage Meter by Pitney Bowes, also known as the Personal Post? Well, it's a handy dandy little machine allright, but here's the I Love It...

About 2/3's of its usage, the machine will let you know that the ink cartridge is running out of ink. That in itself isn't the I Love It. Here's the part that fits: After it lets you know this, it will ask you if you wish to perform a print test. Now, ANY BUTTON except the "no" button will start the print test. And what is the test? A series of lines that use up MORE INK than if you used it for postage. Now out of 10 times, I will probably accidentally hit ANY BUTTON but the "no" button and start the print test. Astoundingly, the cartridge usually lasts for about 3-4 weeks after the first "running out of ink" message. But still, isn't there ANY way to test if there's ink left than to USE UP MORE INK?

Filed under Reviews.

Nightmares

I woke up this morning screaming "It's not my fault!" and bursting into sobs of despair.

All this because of my trip down to L.A. a few weeks ago, the logistics of a repayment of a debt, AND pms. I hate it when I know the exact causes of my nightmares.

In my torturous dream, I was surrounded by my relatives - my mother, my sister, a male figure (I can't tell if it's my ex brother in law or my father) as well as a chorus of other voices, all accusatory. One would ask me in an accusatory tone, then as I started to answer and give a genuine answer like I do with my other, another voice interrupted and posed another accusation. As I spun to answer that one, another voice'd pipe in.

I started screaming, "You're not listening! You don't want answers, you just want to blame!" but the others drowned mine out. "It's NOT MY FAULT!"

I woke up, drenched in sweat. I kicked off my blankets, and tried to go back to sleep. No avail. I finally let out my frustrations in a yell and woke my other up. She leaned over and threw an arm over me but it was too late, I was shuddering with sobs.

To my family:

I cannot talk to you. You are not interested in what I have to say.

You cannot escape the bonds of heritage and neither can I. In your eyes, I am forever youngest daughter, younger sister - to be scolded into doing what you want, to be blamed for anything that goes wrong. In my eyes, I am forever youngest daughter, younger sister - to walk away from your accusations and tones is disrespect. I therefore stay away so I don't have to walk away.

Going to a restaurant where they serve something I mentioned in passing IS NOT going somewhere I want to go. Get it clear. YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY FAVORS. IF YOU WERE, We'd be going to BEEF BOWL! That is what I want. The food there is cheap so I won't have to hear you bitch about how much you spend on me. I LIKE the food there. So please, do not say that it is for me. IT IS FOR YOU.

I am an adult in my own house. We have an open atmosphere where we can talk about anything. If we are having problems, WE RESOLVE IT and we don't sweep it under the rug. We can hear the accusations the other is making because we are willing to listen to the defenses the other makes to the accusations. That is what is known as having a DIALOGUE. I enjoy dialogues even if it means I don't get my way most of the time. BECAUSE! The important thing to me is to be heard. I am NOT an unreasonable person. However, when I am facing insanity, I will often resort to being unreasonable. GET THE HINT!

I do not think it is too much to ask that I be treated with respect. However, I acknowledge that it is too much to ask that YOU treat me with respect. That is why I am not asking for the impossible anymore. I just ask that you do not give me grief when I visit seldomly. I don't like you all. I don't like the way you treat me. I don't like the person I am when I'm with you. AND I don't like that the effects of my visits linger for weeks afterwards. That is why I limit my visits to you.

My sister, you say that you don't want me to lie to you when I say I don't want to come down south. Can you hear that part of my reasoning is because of you? Can you understand that your treatment of me is like that to a 19 year old and that I don't feel like I need to tolerate it anymore and because I don't know how to break the role I just choose to stay away? Can you deal with the fact that when you told me that I should've prevented your son from leaving with his grandmother's cell phone, that he is 23 years old and if he says he'll be back that night, HE'S THE ONE WHO SHOULD'VE BEEN BLAMED, AND NOT ME? And that THIS is the main reason why I don't come down there?

I am tired of hating you all. Do you know how many family movie/tv dramas I make my other sit through because I can't get enough? Cause to me, my family represents false accusations, feelings of undeserved guilt and general unpleasantness?

Mark's Mom loved my other. *THAT* felt great. But how can I expect you to accept her, when you can't even accept me?

Filed under Bloodsport, err Relatives.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Is it my imagination or....

...is Liar-in-Chief totally smirking as he's pulling the wool?

...did the entire military just signal to America that they don't believe him when they didn't stand up? Or are they not allowed to?

... did he just say, don't trust the government cause we might take your money away, but trust us to make sure that the corporations won't? ROFLMAO Ohmigod, he DID just say that. This is what the Democrats should hammer, that THIS is the message he's telling us.

Excuse me while I barf.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

She says....

"It sucks to be 54!"

I love my girl. This is right after Liar-in-Chief said something about people over 55 shouldn't worry.

Filed under Bloodsport, err Relatives.