Thursday, August 26, 2004

Hawaii, to the Forefront!!!!

After reading about battleground states, and how some states are getting all the attention, I saw an interactive map. Lots of red states around, some blue states and I look at the bottom of the map and sure enough, on the bottom in an inset picture, are the scattered islands of Hawaii, depicted blue. (Sidenote: NO WONDER most Americans can't figure out where Hawaii is. In most depictions of the U.S., Hawaii is an inset picture placed randomly whereever it can fit and look aesthetically nice.)

Then I thought, poor Hawaii... no one mentions the state ESPECIALLY during election year. So, the gears started creaking and before long, I thought that since no one really paid attention to Hawaii, maybe the governor there and their state council should start a drive to make ALL Hawaiians register as independents. Result? INSTANT BATTLEGROUND state.

Think of the payoff, Hawaiians! Not only will you get to see these ads that CNN, MSNBC, Fox and all them are talking about, you will get visits from the candidates themselves. PLUS, for the cost of two, you actually get the secret service guys (i'm sure they get SOME time off, think of the tourist dollars!), you get the press corps travelling with the two, you get their whole campaign, and ... and if you're truly lucky, you get the spouses and kids. (QUICK, PHOTOGRAPHERS AND JOURNALISTS, start promoting this idea!!!! You get to take snapshots of the twins in bikinis, drinking margaritas!!!!)

Hawaiians, you are a state heavily dependent on visitors. What better than to make YOUR government work for you and pony up? Become a battleground state. GO INDEPENDENT. Force these guys to at least mention your state ONCE this year. PLUS you get the benefit of laughing at them when you say "Shakabra" to a journalist when they ask your opinion.

Okay, this was my brilliant idea for the year. I can rest now.

Filed under Politics & B.S.


Post a Comment

<< Home