Monday, August 30, 2004


I just watched Michael Moore's The Awful Truth Season 2. The one episode that has me pondering possibilities was the one where Michael ran a ficus tree against an incumbent Republican and in the first precinct that they were allowed to hear the results from, the ficus tree won, 40 votes to 10. (how embarassing for that congressman)

Moore's reasoning behind this act was to prove voter apathy caused by a lack of good candidates. By running the ficus, he was basically saying even a tree would be better than some of these public servants we have in D.C. who serve anyone but the public.

I like his idea. I like the idea of putting forth a candidate who doesn't want to (okay, okay in this case, it was unable to) speak for themselves. But exactly who would I put out there as a viable candidate for the presidency?

My first thought, as always, falls on Aaron Sorkin. Any man who can write both sides of the debate, can spot absurdity and present it as absurdity, can see both foreign and domestic issues PLUS understand storytelling (okay so this isn't a trait necessary for the presidency, but damn it, Aaron Sorkin is a god of story-telling and we should acknowledge that) has my vote for President. However, we know all those people with something or another jammed up their teeny openings in the rear will have a major problem with this left-leaning pot smoking genius. (hmm wonder who can tell from this that I'm a HUGE Aaron Sorkin fan?)

No, Aaron just wouldn't be a clear cut choice. So I started running through a list of potential non-entertainers: Stephen Hawking (well, this guy can admit when he's wrong - he recently paid off a bet to another scientist) - no good. People won't react that great to a guy in a wheelchair who needs a voicebox to speak. Mother Theresa - dead and besides, not a citizen here and that whole religious crossover... *shudder*. Lance Armstrong - possible but will people want a cancer survivor? Ben or Jerry - non counter-culture folks will shiver even as they eat their ice cream.

*sighs* Well, it looks like a non-entertainer is out of the question... then who. Who are two of the most respected men in the world, not just for their good looks, but their social activities, their generosities of hearts? The two rascals of two great buddy flicks - Paul Newman and Robert Redford. Paul could be president for 2 years, and then trade places with Robert. AND EVERYONE would vote. Now wouldn't that be a sight to behold?

Filed under Reveries & Paranoias and Politics & B.S.


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