Calling All Inventors

Seems people are not happy about hands-free laws being passed all over the country. No, get your mind out of the gutter. Hands-free as in cell phones.

See, I'm against cell phones in cars. I don't own a cell phone and tho I'm fascinated by the technology, I won't get one. The ONLY three reasons I'd have to get one is, 1) for me to be able to call ahead when I'm late, 2) emergency usage if the car breaks down or I'm in an accident or 3) calling ahead to order food so that when I arrice I can just pay and leave with food in hand.

Not good enough reasons to endanger lives around me. Ah, but if only other people took this approach.

Well, apparently some people don't like the hands-free compromise (it's a compromise, really, because for YEARS we couldn't have a walkman blaring in our ears to rock out on). Wires tangling, earphones on passenger seat instead of on head. Oh, the trials and tribulations of the poor cell phone user.

So, I'm calling all inventors. WANTED: earpiece implants and mouthpiece implants. That way, you cell phone users won't annoy us anymore at the movie theaters, at the supermarket, at the bus-stop, on the roads. As for the mouthpiece implants and the problem of inarticulateness, seriously, don't worry. Judging from 90% of the conversations I've been forced to eavesdrop on, the conversations are inane anyway. And, the way our president likes to show off how he mispronounces simple words (NuKUlar), he's letting us know that as a nation, we too can be inarticulate simpletons.

Filed under Ms. Cell Annie.